Happy holiday and Merry Christmas

Dear students,

Good luck for your last papers. We know that examinations are tough, but you've made it. For those who've finished their exams, well done and enjoy your holiday :)

Happy Holiday and Merry Christmas!!!

Announcement: Make your counseling appointment online

Hi!!!

Now, introducing a very cool online tool for you to make a counseling appointment with Ms Coral. You can book an appointment online, anytime, anywhere.

You could choose to attend a counseling session, (guidance or consultation) on Tuesday or Wednesday from 9am-6pm. After the reservation, please meet her at the Department of Student Services on the time you booked. Ms. Coral will contact you for confirmation of reservation.

Please check it out by clicking the image at your right. Thanks :)

Overcome Shyness

When you were a kid, you may hide from strangers, those uncles and aunties you've never met before, and your mom forced you to call them 'uncle' or 'auntie'. You don't even know them. You may cry or throw tantrum. Your mom may say, "he/she's just a bit shy."



Well, after a while, you may feel like you still feel shy sometimes because deep inside you, you're trying to protect yourself.

Shyness is something you could overcome.
Learn more about it.

Find out about the causes, consequencse, how the loved one and psychologists could help
through this link.
Or download the brochure here (pdf file)

Other recommended sites:
Shake Your Shyness
by a clinical psychologist

and Shyness.com

What stopped us from wanting to know more?

As little children, we used to ask a lot of questions when we were young.
"Why is the sky blue?"
"Why this thing looks like this?"
"What is the man doing in the movie?"
"Why can't I eat this?"

Somehow, after being asked a lot of questions, adults may feel frustrated and try to avoid our questions.

Then, we learned not to ask too much questions, because adults always keep quiet. We thought we may look smarter if we kept quiet. It's true that no one would know if we did not know something, being silent may be a good way to hide our ignorance.

We were taught, "Don’t touch. Don’t climb. Don’t yell. Don’t take that apart. Don’t get dirty. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t." -these disapproval stopped us from wanting to know more because we are fear of being rejected (Perry, 2001).

Dr Perry also stated the 2 other elements which may affect our learning process when we were young (honestly, your life now is related to your childhood/past): Fear and Absence of care from parents/caretakers.

This is a very interesting chart taken from his article about learning process of children:

Curiosity	results in	Exploration
Exploration	results in	Discovery
Discovery	results in	Pleasure
Pleasure	results in	Repetition
Repetition	results in	Mastery
Mastery	results in	New Skills
New Skills	results in	Confidence
Confidence	results in	Self esteem
Self esteem	results in	Sense of Security
Security	results in	More Exploration

Please don't blame our parents or teachers for not giving enough chances for us to learn more and explore more. Forgive them as we may make the same mistake too.

The good news is we are still living, and there is always a chance to learn while you are still breathing. ^_^

Reading books is not the only way to learn.

I've found out that in WiseGeek, you can even...

Learn about what does 200 Calories look like.

A few examples:

Baby Carrots
570 grams = 200 Calories

Honeydew Melon
553 grams = 200 Calories

Coca Cola
496 ml = 200 Calories

Of course, you could find out more than this online...

It's time for a new talk

Topic:
Making Friends, Not Enemies:
Develop Mature and Long-Lasting Friendships

Date: 28th October 2009
Time: 5.00pm
Venue: Lecture Theater

Please contact Ms Coral for further information: coralcounselor@gmail.com

Need more doses of inspiration?

Pic of Fluorfilms

College life is tough, I know.
And most people won't tell you.

When you have lots of assignments, sometimes you feel like lots of problems flooding over you which distracted you from study and completing assignments before the deadlines. Sometimes, you feel like you really planned and you wanted to complete all your assignments before deadlines. Sometimes, problems just came without warning and you feel like nobody is there for you. You may feel overwhelmed.

Maybe it's not so right.

When you need some guidance, there's somebody who's always there for you.

When you need some inspirations, here are a few websites for you !!! (Look what I've found :)

AND

Fubiz.net

Stay tune for the next surprise...

Psychologies' How-to guide for personal growth

Want to learn to improve your life-skills in just a few easy steps?

I've found the online manual in Psychologies magazine website, which is quite helpful. You can check it out by clicking the banner above.

Learn about:
How to beat your exam nerves
How to spot a lie
How to be a good listener
How to win an argument
How to be lucky
How to turn your bad day into a good day,
etc, etc, etc...


If you prefer to watch a video and learn it in an interactive way, check out


It's free, and some of the videos are quite hilarious. You can even learn how to be a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend How to prevent credit card fraud, how can you make a good first impression, how to save money, etc, etc, etc...


eHow is a good website which provides you how-to step by step information. In the same time, their video section is also a good resource for self-improvement.

You can even learn how to attract consumers, how to tango, how to lose weight, how to cook, how to write a CV, etc, etc, etc...

Body Language: What you can't hide

Body language is essential in human communications.

It consists of 65%-90% in every conversation.

Just imagine, babies can't talk. How do they communicate?

They use body language: Cry

This lady is touching her leg, what does it mean?

Even dogs have body language too.

It's interesting, isn't it?

Find out more from next Wednesday talk (09.09.09)
5.30p.m. in Lecture Theater
Body Language: What you can't hide

Brought to you by Ms. Coral.
DoSS


Before you attend the talk, you may like to test how well you could read body language.
Try out this test: Can you spot fake smiles? BBC

Misconceptions about counseling

Some of you may have some misconceptions about counseling.


Misconception No.1 : Counseling is for people who have 'mental problems' or 'psychological problems'.

Well, if people have 'mental problems' or 'psychological problems', they would most probably go to visit a doctor or a psychiatrist. :)

Counseling is for personal growth and self-development. There are different types of issues you could discuss with your counselor, e.g. yourself, your future direction, your family, your bf/gf, your classmate, or anything which concerns you and you need somebody to talk to.


Misconception No.2 : I have some problems, I don't know who to talk to. But, if I talk to my counselor, will she/he tell somebody else? My lecturer? My parents? My friends? Or other people?

Don't worry. Your secrets are safe with us. As professional counselors, we are trained to keep your secrets, and not to reveal your secrets to anyone as "XXX is having a big problem". Everything you say in the counseling session is private and confidential.

We will try our best to protect you and your secrets, unless you have a feeling of wanting to 'sleep and never wake up anymore' or homicidal thoughts, or abuse others, or abused by others, or ordered by the court (which rarely happened in our country, unless there is a crime), we have the responsibility to inform the third party about your intention.

Which means, you are safe to tell us what you want to tell.


Misconception No.3 :I don't think I have some major problems, but I have certain things which I need some help from others, but my friends don't understand me, I'm sure counselors may not understand me too.

Instead of cracking your head and thinking about everything all by yourself (which did not work well for you), you may need a pair of listening ears, a person who is skillfully equipped with psychological knowledge, and a clearer picture (or analysis) of your situation as a 3rd person - a counselor!

Misconception No.4 :I have some habits which I need to overcome. I want to become a better person. Maybe I should read some self-help books and waiting to see how they work for me.

Reading self-help books are good for you. But, you often found that you felt very motivated in the beginning. When you finished the whole book, you may still feel motivated. However, after one week or two, you may forget about everything the book told you and go back to your old lifestyle.

Maybe some of us did not even realize that we need to change. With the help of a counselor, you'll get a tailor-made and personalized treatment plan, suited best with your conditions. With guidance from a counselor, your progress will also be monitored by her/him.


Don't be an island, let us walk together.

More soothing music

Dear all,

Regarding to Hazwan's request, I found something more interesting than Youtube music. Anyway, you could still go to youtube for more soothing music through this link: Nature Sound on Youtube



You could also visit The California Library of Natural Sounds (CLNS)'s lovely website, Listening to nature for an inspiring journey through California's nature.




I also discovered a cool website, which allows you to mix and match the nature sounds, e.g. bird song, rain , river, oceans, etc. You could also enjoy its beautiful slide show while you listen to its nature sounds.

Check it out:

Self-Esteem Games

"Imagine you could play a computer game for five minutes each morning that would help you feel more secure and confident in yourself." Self-Esteem Games.

How it works? The department of psychology in McGill University, Canada introduced a website called Self-Esteem Games. This games were developed by a few doctorate students under supervision of their associate professor, Mark Baldwin. They also published some research papers which showed that their games really worked.

Check out the games to boost your self-esteem:




2) How stress could affect your body, check out the interactive map of APA Help Center.

Explore your strengths

What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror?

What are your strengths? If somebody asked you, "So, tell me about your strengths." Would you tell the person confidently? Would you pause and hesitate for a while?

I would like to share the poem written by a well-known family therapist, Virginia Satir with you. You may feel your inner strengths when you read it out loud. Reading this poem aloud makes you aware of who you really are.

My Declaration of Self-Esteem

by Virginia Satir

I AM ME


In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me
Everything that comes out of me is authentically me
Because I alone chose it - I own everything about me
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to myself - I own my fantasies,
My dreams, my hopes, my fears - I own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and mistakes Because I own all of
Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing
I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts - I know
There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know - but as long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me - However I
Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically
Me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
Which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order out of the world of
People and things outside of me - I own me, and
therefore I can engineer me - I am me and


I AM OKAY

© Virginia Satir, 1975.

Found in Virginia Satir, Self Esteem, Celestial Arts: California, 1975.


P.S. You may choose to read it everyday and tell yourself you're okay. Or, you may even change the last sentence to "I AM GOOD".

You are good.

Affirm yourself daily with positive words or phrases, e.g. "I am good", "I am worthy", "I am beautiful", "I am handsome", "I love myself", "I respect myself", "I am a happy person", etc. Smile at yourself in the mirror maybe the first thing you want to do everyday after you wake up in the morning.

Some positive words you may like to use to describe yourself.

Stop telling yourself that you are not worthy or worse if compared with others. You ARE YOU, the only YOU in the planet who is totally unique. You could never find someone who is exactly like you, not even your twin sister or your twin brother.

List down your strengths on a piece of paper.
Feel good about yourself. :)

Here is a link of a psychological quiz you may like to try out:

Do you know how to protect yourself from life's knocks? by Psychologies.com

Combating exam stress

Hi guys.

How is your study break? Hope that you able to catch some sleeps and take good care of your body. People are more vulnerable when they are under stress compared to normal stage. Take good care of your health so that you would not fall sick.

Remember what I said in our "Coping with Exam Stress" talk last week? When you are under stress, remember to ~BREATHE~ breathe in deeply and slowly, breathe in lungfuls of air... then you would realize that you gradually become less nervous, because deep breathing helps to slow down your heart rate and pulse. It helps you to relax. (p.s. for those who missed it, never mind. We will have something similar for the incoming students in next semester.)

BTW, I would like to share a video with you guys. It is a good clip for relaxation technique - deep breathing. Remember to close your eyes when you listen to it. :)







Of course, if you prefer some relaxing music to listen to, I would recommend this one: Nature is always good.






Good luck for your exam. Hope that you may pass your first semester with flying colours.


your counselor,
~Coral

Something about counseling

Stressed?

No one could share your pain?



Feeling sad or depressed?



Losing / lost someone special?


Trying to find the meaning of life?



Perhaps you need somebody to talk to,
to give you some rays of hope,
some courage to go on...


We could work hand-in-hand together

It's time to balance your life...
It's time to put a real smile back on your face...



You are welcomed to drop by for a custom-made
individual counseling session or guidance

Or maybe, you enjoy working in a group?

Brief Information about Counseling:

Individual Counseling: one to one personal counseling session, you would discuss your issues with the counselor in a comfortable and helping environment (private and confidential). The counseling sessions might provide you a chance for personal growth and overcoming your stress positively. Each session would be approximately 45 minutes to 1 hour.

Group Counseling: a process which 3-10 individuals meet weekly/ twice a week with a professional counselor to discuss specific issues (e.g. getting better grade, how to handle stress, knowing more about your personality, and other issues). Each session would be approximately to 1 hour or more.

Guidance and Consultation: You may walk-in to your counselor to ask for career and academic guidance / consultation. You may like to discover more about yourself and prepare yourself better for the challenging campus life and the outside world.

P.S. You can walk-in or e-mail to your counselor / Department of Student Services anytime to arrange an appointment with the counselor.