Coping with Grief

Grieving is a part of life. It is a necessary process to go through while someone dear has left us behind.

When death took away someone dear, you probably may have a mixed feelings of:

Shock
Confusion
Denial
( You may tell yourself, "It's not true. This can't be happening!")
Anger
Sadness
Guilt
Hopelessness

It is perfectly normal for you to mourn and cry. You may feel depress for a while. You can seek out for some caring friends, who could understand your feelings of loss and share your pain. Expressing your feelings to others would also help you to overcome the grieving process.

Look for professional help when necessary: If your grief seems too overwhelming, seek for professional help (e.g. talk with your counsellor). Seeking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

p.s.: Please check out our PsyBites notice board (Outside Lecture Theatre)
for more information on "Coping with Grief".



For further reading, please visit:
Psychology Today - Grief
BBC - Bereavement
Helpguide.org - Support for Grieving and Bereavement

Stress?

Hey, guys.

How's your study and preparation for exam? Hope everyone of you is doing well. Strive for the best for your exam. It will pay off someday.

It may not be the first time you sit for an exam (the first time maybe was in kindergarten, right?). Yet, some of us still feel very nervous before going into exam hall and sit for our exam. You may still feel your heart pounding faster, dizzy, or stomach cramp. Underlying all these symptoms, it is stress.

Stress, is not necessary bad. Each one of us need some trials and positive stresses to help us grow, motivate us to do better. Imagine a life without stress... Everything would be peaceful, everything would not worry you anymore; you don't have to worry about your stress anymore. After a while, life would be absolutely boring.

One way to combat stress is to learn how to cope with it. There are so many alternatives which you can search for, by using Google. However, I always think the most important part is our attitude. Think positively, have faith in yourself, and take it as a challenge. If you need help, seek help from your family members, friends, and even from Dept. of Student Services :) why not?

We are all created in a way which we need to work and rest in our lives. To achieve the optimum level of happiness, we need to work diligently and rest well. (e.g. an example of resting more than enough is to sleep for 12 hours a day and feel dizzy and sick after you wake up.)

I know preparing for an exam is tough (I've been there too ^^, it'll be over after 1-2 week(s)
Yet, don't forget to: Eat Well, Sleep Well, Worry Less, and Try Your Best.

Last but not least,
A fun thing I suggest you to do~*
Check your stress level HERE: Cohen's Stress Scale

With Big Hug,
your college counselor
Coral

Counseling Services are available full time now.

Hi, guys.

Counseling services are available again. It means, we could start to discuss about your career profile, conduct some counseling sessions together. For those who missed something last semester or new students, e.g. mentor-mentee training workshop, we will conduct the training again this semester. (p.s. New mentors needed. For those who are interested, please come and look for me), then you may use this badge in your blog/website/FB after the training session:

Special badge for mentors.


This also means that from now on, you could book your appointment online or drop me an e-mail, or look for me in Department of Student Services. Student Counseling Unit will to conduct some exciting talks this semester: combating study stress, personality, psychological talks, etc (we may also try to re-conduct the 'Love: from the psychological perspective' talk again for the juniors, as your seniors loved it and recommend to conduct it again, and they're looking forward for the part 2.) You could suggest some interesting topics as well. :)

If you feel that you need someone to talk to,
a listening ear is always there for you,
preparing to hear what is going on in your life,
what you heart may have been trying to tell you.
We will walk the journey together,
a nourishing journey of personal growth.



Sessions will be conducted by well-trained and equipped professional counselor.
(Private and confidential)

Musing...

Life. Puzzle-like?

Sometimes, it seems like there is a lot of uncertainties in life. It is as if you were holding a piece of puzzle, and you could not find the other pieces of puzzles. How would the big picture look like?

Sometimes, you may feel the surroundings around you seems not so helpful or supportive for you to see the whole picture. It is as if life leaves you no choice.

Sometimes, your intuition or feelings may tell you what is right. If it was not the right choice, you may feel discomfort after making a decision. The truth is, you'll always have a choice. It may be a choice of staying or leaving, it may be a choice of complete it or starting it all over, it may be a choice of solving a problem or avoiding it.

Are you on the right path?

However, a good choice should be aligned with your core values and philosophies of life. Imagine if your car's alignment is tilted, would it lead you through a straight path?

What stopped us from wanting to know more?

As little children, we used to ask a lot of questions when we were young.
"Why is the sky blue?"
"Why this thing looks like this?"
"What is the man doing in the movie?"
"Why can't I eat this?"

Somehow, after being asked a lot of questions, adults may feel frustrated and try to avoid our questions.

Then, we learned not to ask too much questions, because adults always keep quiet. We thought we may look smarter if we kept quiet. It's true that no one would know if we did not know something, being silent may be a good way to hide our ignorance.

We were taught, "Don’t touch. Don’t climb. Don’t yell. Don’t take that apart. Don’t get dirty. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t." -these disapproval stopped us from wanting to know more because we are fear of being rejected (Perry, 2001).

Dr Perry also stated the 2 other elements which may affect our learning process when we were young (honestly, your life now is related to your childhood/past): Fear and Absence of care from parents/caretakers.

This is a very interesting chart taken from his article about learning process of children:

Curiosity	results in	Exploration
Exploration	results in	Discovery
Discovery	results in	Pleasure
Pleasure	results in	Repetition
Repetition	results in	Mastery
Mastery	results in	New Skills
New Skills	results in	Confidence
Confidence	results in	Self esteem
Self esteem	results in	Sense of Security
Security	results in	More Exploration

Please don't blame our parents or teachers for not giving enough chances for us to learn more and explore more. Forgive them as we may make the same mistake too.

The good news is we are still living, and there is always a chance to learn while you are still breathing. ^_^

Reading books is not the only way to learn.

I've found out that in WiseGeek, you can even...

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Baby Carrots
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Honeydew Melon
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Coca Cola
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Psychologies' How-to guide for personal growth

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How to spot a lie
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